Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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