I am puke
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
