i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
