I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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