i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
