Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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