Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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