so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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