my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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