did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
