Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
