I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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