I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
4 words: hood of his car
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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