I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
