I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
