her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
