I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
