I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
