i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
