one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
