Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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