Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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