it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
