ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
