Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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