Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
