We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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