Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
