3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
