no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
