So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
