I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
