She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
