Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
