I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
