I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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