I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
