after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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