dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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