you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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