It's Friday. Sex?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
