I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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