Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She tied me up with her honor cords...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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