Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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