there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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