idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
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I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
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Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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