just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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