his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
