what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
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Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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