I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
