you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize