Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
