I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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