we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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