Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize