Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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