thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
