so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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