If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Randomize
