he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
