dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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